A Death that shook the nation

Today, when I pick up the news-paper it was just another day for me but the front page news changed it all. The news was of the Death of the Gang-rape victim from Delhi.I already knew about the incident, I had been  hearing the broadcasts from here and there but was never much moved, never in the past had been either. I am not a very great fan of the public protests, candle marches and all,it is not that I have something against them but I am too busy with my own life that not to bother myself with these incidents apart from the discussions  at tea-breaks, but this time its different.
After reading today's news, I am sad, I am feeling so much pain, anger in me. I don't wanna return to my daily routine, I wanna mourn for this poor girl, for this poor country, for our helplessness. After a long thought on why this is happening to us I realize that there is so much hatred in our hearts, we dont like each other otherwise how could we do anything such brutal with a fellow human being. Its not only guys raping victimizing girls, its this hatred- guys fighting over with each other on roads, colleagues fighting back-stabbing each other, we are in general in-furious, there is so much anger in us we want to take the whole world down, those who have power daily test it on weaker ones- whether its a strong guy beating a weaker one on road, a rich person abusing a poor or A MALE WHO THINKS HE IS ALL POWERFUL ABUSING BULLYING A HELPLESS GIRL.
Those who have power want to test in those who dont, the same attitude is shown by our Police force, Politicians and all. In our daily lives why do we fear so much from police or the lal battis, because we know and they also know that they are no ordinary people they have immense power/resources with them which they can use anytime against you. But this helplessness against these people, against the system is what is creating a boiling anger in us, in all the protesters in Delhi. The people want to take collectively some action, they want to revolt against this system which creates so much power-gap between the people of the same society, they want to show the police force and system of India, 'Common lets have a fight,till now you have been abusing us but no-more, bring on all your canons we dont fear you, we will fight against you, we will have justice, we will have what is rightfully ours' .
This is no Darwin's theory that rule of jungle will prevail, that only strong one has the right to survive, we are humans we have many power/senses apart from the physical strength that can we used to create a balance of power and one of them is surely the power to protest, to collectively fight against all the injustices done to us. This incident will definitely unite us, unite us for a cause.

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है,
देखना है जोर कितना बाजु-ए-कातिल में है ।

A spell .......

Have you ever met some one with uncomparable boldness,with tough determination. His fearlessness and his fanatical enthusiasm amazed you.A person who is just willing to challenge everyone, even the devil, even God. No it isn't megalomania, its only flourishing life and a volcanic, raging outburst of awakening forces.
You always found his soul restless, always full on energy, always onto something. There's just no one to oppose him, no one dare to challenge him.

But... there is something, someone: a girl. A girl who dares to be near him. When she came over and sat down next to him: he seemed to become completely calm all of a sudden, freed of the burden of his alertness and quickness, freed of the weight of his incessant presence of mind, the torment of having constantly to outdo and surpass himself. Sitting next to her, you would have the impression that he'd like never to stand up again. He just don't want to be pulled back from the paradise of this precious effortlessness.
Just like when a trainer touches a restless horse and the animal just calms down, You can see the same effect, same calmness on him when she put her hand on his shoulder. He just look in awe at her simple actions, As simple action as she'd tie her shiny black hair into a ponytail with a rubber band.

He seems to be under some spell, a spell that could finally, though only brief moment of time, bring his ever running thoughts, to a standstill..

A crazy journey

Can it just happen that you found an old shabby book in  the corner of some second hand bookshop, you start reading it, and you just get lost in it. You forgot about everything else, your personal life, you get so engrossed in it, in the words, in the author that you set yourself on a whole new quest.

A quest to find more about the author, to peek into his real life. His writing style, his expressions fascinated you so much that you decide you want to know more. You want to know how this person lives, what are the surroundings which carved such sentiments in him, that he came up with these ideas, these thoughts.

A reader sets himself on this journey. Ok, but now the question comes up why he want to do it? Is he so bored of his own life that he now want to see 'how it would be to live the life of that author?' or is it because he find some resemblance in author's life, some solidarity in  author's  thoughts and he is intrigued to find out the circumstances?. Does he want to observe those circumstances and compare them to his own and see if he would have been in those,' would he have come up with same thoughts, same lines ? '.

continued....

U just throw it away....

U know.... U just don't throw the whole life away,
just because it's banged up a little....

A desperate dash - Indian Express

A desperate dash - Indian Express

Read the above link about the apathy of great Indian players...
Its such a shame to see that how the lives of these 6 Indian athlete's once called India's 'golden girls' is torn apart by a dope test about the drugs they are not even aware about.How this incident has brought them from ,once very near to achieving the dream of their lives, to the realms of a struggle to get back their honor and respect.

Who are you inside..

Behind that cool posture who's hiding. What's your real color? These and many such thoughts come across in my mind when I meet someone.
I wonder that this guy/girl is really, who he/she is pretending to be or behind that cool calm posture there is an afraid insecure little girl hiding or maybe some heinous monster wants to be unleashed.Sometimes in between the talks I feel that I saw it in there eyes that person staring at me through a veil, as if hiding from me, from everybody else but yet longing to come out.
But who's really stopping it ? Are there really two faces of ours? One for public eyes , and one which only us and even some, not even us just our subconscious knows about. So does this mean that our public face is so strong that it doesn't allow our other self or other persona to grow? I know I don't have answers to any of these but I do know that I have seen it, I have definitely seen a glimpse of that other person hiding in people's eyes.....   

life traces own path

I m gonna a singer when I will grow up!!! Okay now voice is all hoarse when I have grown a bit.My maths is Cool, I can be a  scientist. But I started loosing interest in that too.I can be this no wait a minute definitely I wanted to be that. I worked my ass off to be 'that' but Boom life is planning something else for me. Thats Life!!!
No matter what you plan out, no matter what path you want to take it traces its own path , it follows its own plan. Sometimes I wonder do we really have any control on our life? Ya surely we can control our actions but what about the consequences of those actions? Do we have any control at all?
But one thing is sure Life do give you choices, and its the choice that decides your destiny. But the question again comes what choice to make?
Time to sign off... and all the best in making the right choices for your life..  

what happens to a dream deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

I read these lines sometimes back and they make me wonder what really happens to a dream deferred? Everyone defer some of his/her dreams at some point due to one reason or other.  I have no idea what happens to your dream but it sure some effect on your conscious, its always there it never goes....

Crappy Feelings...

These days I am having what u cal, crappy feelings for everyone- my friends, my family, even about myself.I feel as if everyone is shitting me, I know it sounds too harsh but cant help it. These days everyone seems to be a lot of disturbed, surrounded by the problems of life.. So what should I do, Ok I am with you I am supporting you and all but why passing all your burden on me. For my sake or for yours please straighten up your lives....
I sincerely hope all of these feelings of mine are just a passing by phase... 

Blind feelings are making our life…

An incident happened which again confirm to my feelings about our generation.

A very good friend of mine a few months back was highly disappointed with the policies and work culture of our current organization, so he started looking out for a job and got a call from a company (not so reputed as much our current org.), its a start-up firm but was offering him a handsome salary. After much persuasion he filed notice, of leaving, with our employer and get into the notice period of 3 months (1 of the many policies of our org.)

Now, as it always happens suddenly our employer starts finding him worthy, they started wooing him with all the appreciation and other sugary things. They were offering him many things but without committing to any. My friend got into more dilemma as whether his decision is right?? should he leave or should he stay. Lemme tell you one thing about this person, he is very fond of his comfort zone and not adventurous at all and was simply hesitant to get out of his comfort zone.But in the course of 3 months nothing got materialized, and eventually his last working day came. We all have already given him his farewell party and everything was finalized for his leaving.But something happened at the eleventh hour...

There was an exit interview scheduled, usually kind of formality, where HRs of the company try to find out the reasons as to why the person is leaving, just for documentation purpose I believe.After coming from the meeting, he told us he is postponing his departure for 2 weeks, we were shocked as to what has happened at the last hour? After a while, when we were alone he confined in me as to what happened in the meeting. He told me that during the meeting, many a top officials were present and they collectively asked him to stay, to defer his decision and they will surely come up for some good opportunity for him and he found it really hard to deny...

This thing bewildered me, but obliviously I didnt told him. I just plainly said " I am happy for you ". I couldn't make it out, why all of this struggle when you wanted to retreat. What was he thinking when he resigned, and what made him change his decision? How can he believe the people, who haven't done anything in 3 LONG months, that they will be able to deliver in just 2 weeks. Did he not wanted to leave in the first place itself? But why all this drama? The only answer I came up with is..

This is our generation…. We have no reason for anything we do, neither a reason why we feel disgusted about something nor why we fall in love with that thing again. Simply :

"Blind feelings are making our life…”

A knock on my door...

Hi I am back!!! I stay alone... I know it may sound sad but actually it is not, I kind of like it this way. But sometimes it gets too lonely.There are times when I really feel the need of a company and those moments have a strange affect on my psyche.
I am laying in my bed wide awake late at night, music playing softly in the background, lost in my own world and suddenly I hear a soft knock on my door 'Was there someone?' .After remaining startled by this unexpected activity I get the grip of the reality. I hear the wind howling outside, again a knock on my window and then again.Oh so its just the 'Wind'.Now even nature is playing with me.... Okay I was longing for some company but definitely not of this kind.But wait a minute Am I sounding sad that its just Wind and not some real person , Am I that lonely????
All this reminds me of a very famous Hindi Gazal - Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho and I get lost in my dream world again  :)

I have a dream...

Its early in the morning and I still have a dream, a fresh dream, in my eyes. Is it from last night or was it there whole time which i had ignored. It is not that, first time I have a dream, I had had many dreams some achieved, some deferred. Those dreams which are not achieved or which I had or had to let go still have a brunt on my conscious.
Lately I have been laying low, not wishing anything, just going with the flow.For long I don't have hunger , I just didn't wanna strive for anything. But its high time, I have to achieve something. I cant let myself down this time, cant belittle this dream.
But will I be able to deliver, do I still have it in me...Its been so long that I have started having doubts on my own capability.
Okay enough!! lets start trying and hope these efforts will bring some fruitful results this time. After all dreams are all what we have and efforts are all we can put in....