what happens to a dream deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

I read these lines sometimes back and they make me wonder what really happens to a dream deferred? Everyone defer some of his/her dreams at some point due to one reason or other.  I have no idea what happens to your dream but it sure some effect on your conscious, its always there it never goes....

Crappy Feelings...

These days I am having what u cal, crappy feelings for everyone- my friends, my family, even about myself.I feel as if everyone is shitting me, I know it sounds too harsh but cant help it. These days everyone seems to be a lot of disturbed, surrounded by the problems of life.. So what should I do, Ok I am with you I am supporting you and all but why passing all your burden on me. For my sake or for yours please straighten up your lives....
I sincerely hope all of these feelings of mine are just a passing by phase... 

Blind feelings are making our life…

An incident happened which again confirm to my feelings about our generation.

A very good friend of mine a few months back was highly disappointed with the policies and work culture of our current organization, so he started looking out for a job and got a call from a company (not so reputed as much our current org.), its a start-up firm but was offering him a handsome salary. After much persuasion he filed notice, of leaving, with our employer and get into the notice period of 3 months (1 of the many policies of our org.)

Now, as it always happens suddenly our employer starts finding him worthy, they started wooing him with all the appreciation and other sugary things. They were offering him many things but without committing to any. My friend got into more dilemma as whether his decision is right?? should he leave or should he stay. Lemme tell you one thing about this person, he is very fond of his comfort zone and not adventurous at all and was simply hesitant to get out of his comfort zone.But in the course of 3 months nothing got materialized, and eventually his last working day came. We all have already given him his farewell party and everything was finalized for his leaving.But something happened at the eleventh hour...

There was an exit interview scheduled, usually kind of formality, where HRs of the company try to find out the reasons as to why the person is leaving, just for documentation purpose I believe.After coming from the meeting, he told us he is postponing his departure for 2 weeks, we were shocked as to what has happened at the last hour? After a while, when we were alone he confined in me as to what happened in the meeting. He told me that during the meeting, many a top officials were present and they collectively asked him to stay, to defer his decision and they will surely come up for some good opportunity for him and he found it really hard to deny...

This thing bewildered me, but obliviously I didnt told him. I just plainly said " I am happy for you ". I couldn't make it out, why all of this struggle when you wanted to retreat. What was he thinking when he resigned, and what made him change his decision? How can he believe the people, who haven't done anything in 3 LONG months, that they will be able to deliver in just 2 weeks. Did he not wanted to leave in the first place itself? But why all this drama? The only answer I came up with is..

This is our generation…. We have no reason for anything we do, neither a reason why we feel disgusted about something nor why we fall in love with that thing again. Simply :

"Blind feelings are making our life…”

A knock on my door...

Hi I am back!!! I stay alone... I know it may sound sad but actually it is not, I kind of like it this way. But sometimes it gets too lonely.There are times when I really feel the need of a company and those moments have a strange affect on my psyche.
I am laying in my bed wide awake late at night, music playing softly in the background, lost in my own world and suddenly I hear a soft knock on my door 'Was there someone?' .After remaining startled by this unexpected activity I get the grip of the reality. I hear the wind howling outside, again a knock on my window and then again.Oh so its just the 'Wind'.Now even nature is playing with me.... Okay I was longing for some company but definitely not of this kind.But wait a minute Am I sounding sad that its just Wind and not some real person , Am I that lonely????
All this reminds me of a very famous Hindi Gazal - Aahat si koi aaye to lagta hai ki tum ho and I get lost in my dream world again  :)